Dilemma
Topic: Coffee
Tall does not equal small.
Grande does not equal medium.
Venti isn't even a word, as far as I know. I'll check.
Let's see... According to Dictionary.com, it's not a word, and suggests that I may have meant "vent." Wikipedia mentions it as someone's name. And the Urban Dictionary has nothing except associating it with the term "fivebucks" (slang for Starbuck's). And Urban Dictionary is a dictionary of slang. This indicates that Venti is, at best, not even slang, and only sometimes a person's name. Not a size of coffee.

Which begs the question: why is it being used for a size reference? Who made that up?

Immaterial. The dilemma which I face is this: I'm against the use of these invented stupid words to sell coffee. The use of "tall" to order "small" is such obvious bullshit propaganda designed to make you think you're getting a lot of coffee when it's really a small, that even a mental patient that has decided his toes are pets (and even feeds them) could figure it out. Grande's just plain ridiculous. And Venti isn't even a word. I oppose the propaganda of the coffee house.

But they make damned good coffee.

That's my issue, see. I'm against that propaganda. But every time I go in there to order, I say "venti." It's not a word! And I still say it! When someone's running to Starbuck's from work, and want to know my order, I even tell them "venti." I kid myself, telling my own ego a lie, that I only want things to be less confusing for the person making the run. But the truth is, they got me. I know it's not a word, and I say it anyway, just so I can pay three dollars for a cup of coffee.

Granted, I get the mocha frappuchino (another made-up word) with espresso shots. But it's the same principle... I'm using made-up words to order coffee. It's worse than "grande," which at least means something in another language. "Venti" isn't even from a language!

So do I compromise my grammatic principles just to order coffee, or do I stick to my guns and start saying "large?"

I really don't know. That's why it's a dilemma.

Topic: Coffee
I had all kinds of jokes to make about this, but I like to avoid scatological themes. So I'll just lay it down.

There's a coffee out there called Kopi Luwak. It's made from beans that are collected from the droppings of a civet cat.I am not making this up.

Here's the crazy part (yes, it gets weirder). People are paying $300.00 per pound for it! That's right... people with more money than brains are willing to pay that much for coffee that's proven it is tougher than a civet cat's digestive system.

It's very rare, but if you call this place, maybe they can point you to it. I haven't called. I don't plan to.

See... this is why I seceded from the human race. It's because of stuff like this.

Kopi Luwak
Raven's Brew Coffee
Neurotically Yours, "Small, Medium, Large" (Fear Foamy's squirrely wrath.)