Uhm...
Now Playing: Rocky Mountain Way by Joe Walsh
Topic: Odds 'N Ends

Sometimes, a product comes along that you know will be so massively useful, that is so simple and yet so brilliant, that just have to wonder how mankind got along without it. We're talking about something that should be placed in the same category as the wheel and the lever.

And then there's this. This is not one of those things.

Many people have read the words "non sequitur" and wondered what it means, exactly. Well, exactly it means "it does not follow." That means that it's a phrase that contains elements that are, normally, completely unrelated. Not to say mutually exclusive. 

And I like non sequiturs. They make me pause, and cause my brain to do that high-gear-to-reverse-all-at-once thing. My brain needs exercise. Everyone's does. A good non sequitur might also cause a laugh that comes far too rarely.

Some people are graphically-minded, though, and need a good visual reference to match up with what they happen to be hearing. An example is the concept to which I'm alluding. And just in case you're that kind of thinker, I present to you this link. Prepare yourself. Here it is.

Well? Did your brain stop functioning for a moment there? Did it send your mind a "WTF?!" moment? 

They kind of grow on you, don't they? There's two separate items there. They're not expensive. 

I have a bare spot on my shelf... right next to my Cthulhu plushie.

See? I like non sequiturs.

Home
Topic: Odds 'N Ends

Taking a bit of time off of work. That's the good news.

The bad news is that I'm taking it off because I can't walk. Not very well, anyway, and certainly not painlessly. Gout flare-up. I'm going to see the doc today and he's going to fax my work and they're going to say "No sweat, see you when it's better."

On the up side, I can catch up with some stuff here at the house.

Down side is that my foot feels like it's broken in 4 different places and nanobots with messed up programming are trying to "fix" it with blowtorches.

I have a painkiller, but it's highly soporific and I don't like to take it. I do when I need to, but it's hard enough to drive with a foot that doesn't want to press pedals without also worrying about consciousness. I can fall asleep just about anywhere if I'm tired enough. That includes behind a wheel. At least the pain would keep me awake.

"Painkiller" would be a great comic book title. I'd suggest it if there weren't already a comic named Painkiller Jane. But I digress.*

Anyway.

I'm going to be bored for the next few days, it seems. I'll spend a lot of time at home because I can't drive, and I won't be working (vacation days will keep me from going broke), so who knows? Maybe I'll create some new technology that will benefit mankind by curing ailments such as diabetes or cancer, or just plain keep Disney from making any more movies.

More likely, I'll get injured in a freak television remote control accident that'll leave me paralyzed from the wrist down. That's the kind of weirdness I have to deal with on a daily basis, if I'm not working.

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*Often.

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Trip
Topic: Odds 'N Ends

There's still ads on my page. Tomorrow morning, Tripod gets a call. If they can't straighten it out, I'm looking for another blogging tool and switching to another service. If necessary, I'll go back to HTML. Their system said 24-72 hours. It's been way longer.

Salem.

Traffic out there sucked really badly. It started at my driveway (some doorknob parked right behind my driveway again) and lasted until we got to the parking structure. There was one way into it based on the signs leading to it, and some other doorknob had put a sign in front of it that said "do not enter." It's like they wanted us to park there, but not really.

After that, it got a lot better.

We finally saw the inside of the Peabody Essex Museum, which was interesting, edifying, and air conditioned. We saw quite a few very nice things in there, and a guide told me not to touch the fu dog statue, so I stopped. I'd just wanted to see if the pearl it had in its mouth was free-rolling or attached.* I left it alone and we went on our way.

After we looked through the museum, we went to get lunch at Finz, which is pretty much our favorite seafood place now. I guess there's other places in Salem to eat. I don't know anything about them, though.

We walked to Finz and stuck our heads in a lot of shops. It was a completely relaxing day, and we enjoyed it quite a bit.

Then I drove back home and went to bed. I was tired and my foot hurt.

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*It was free-rolling.

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Stuff
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
In the vernacular of Fen, this is called "freaking the mundanes."

Angry Alien productions has been doing movies in 30 seconds (and re-enacted by bunnies) for a long while now. They've just added Superman: The Movie. If you haven't seen any of the others, go on and click them, too. Go on! It'll only take 30 seconds...


Saturday night I went to Providence, R.I. for a while. We went to a co-worker's, had a barbecue, then to the nearby Dave and Buster's. I got a platypus plushie from a crane machine for my wife (first play); the current tally is Spidor 4, D&B Cranes 0.
Afterward, we went to an interesting place in Providence, where they have a small canal system through which small boats, gondolas, and so on pass. At night on weekends, they light braziers and keep the fires burning, while playing Celtic, international, and New Age music for the people that just want to sit on the edge of the waterway and listen and watch the fires. Very relaxing, very nice place.

Red
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
It is legal to turn right at an intersection when the light is red, after coming to a complete stop, if there is nothing posted saying otherwise, if there is no oncoming traffic, and if you stay in the far right lane when you do it.

It is not obligatory.

If I'm at an intersection, and you're behind me, and you want me to turn right on the red light, don't beep your horn at me. It's a certain way to ensure I'll wait there until the light turns green. I don't have to go, and I may have chosen to not go because my visibility is limited, and I can't tell if there's any oncoming traffic or not. I'm not going to risk an accident because you should have left fifteen seconds earlier than you did, or because you're impatient, or any other of a number of things that are, quite frankly, your problem and not mine. I'm not being rude by not turning right on a red light. I'm being cautious. If the person behind me honks at me, they are being rude and need to be more patient.

Anyway.

I went fishing today, and while I was out there, I happened to have with me some salt and vinegar flavored potato chips. I like these a lot. Part of the reason I like them so much is, despite the fact they haven't been discontinued by any chip manufacturers, not a lot of other people do seem to like them. This works out to my favor.

Back in high school, I'd buy chips during lunch, and guaranteed, people would hit me up for one or two. That's not a bad thing, but if they grab a bunch, and then someone else asks, I don't want them to feel badly because I gave some to someone else, but not them. Now, I'm not selfish, but if I buy a bag of chips, I think I should get to eat the majority of them. I got a little bit fed up* with not getting to eat very many of the chips I'd paid for because I was being too nice. But seeing it from someone else's perspective, what's the big deal? It's just a bag of chips. I either look selfish or I don't get to eat my own chips.

Then, one day, I saw the salt and vinegar flavored chips, and I thought "Why not try it? Worst that happens, I don't like them, and someone else will surely eat them anyway." Well, as it turned out, I liked them. A lot. But it got better.

Soon, predictably, a friend asked for some chips, and I said okay, and they put the chips in their mouth, and then spat them out into their bare hand. Sounds gross, I know, but the point is that they'd rather have the mess in their hand than continue to chew it, or worse, to swallow it. "Uuagh!" they said. "How can you eat that?" And I knew I was on to something.

Someone else asked for some, and a similar tableau played out. And the next day, it happened again. Eventually, nobody asked me for chips any more.

Since then, I've met very few persons that actually enjoy salt and vinegar potato chips. I started wondering if liking them was something weird. While I was munching them by the lake today, though, I assured myself it's just a matter of taste. Everyone just likes different things. I looked down at the small fish drifting around in the water, and smiled as I tossed a small piece of chip to it. The fragment floated on the surface a moment, and then slowly sank, and one of the fish swam over to it and sucked it up. I was pleased; if a fish would eat it, then there was nothing unnatural about it. Fish eat just about anything organic, but I still felt justified in enjoying what I enjoyed, even if it was just because of the support of a small fish.

Then, the little bastard spat it out, and none of the other little bastards would touch it.

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*Only figuratively.

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Cartoon
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
I was pointed to an interesting web page. It lets you make a cartoon version of yourself, a'la South Park. You can find it here. Ghostwolf says this is so me:


She's less impressed with the version that lets you make yourself as a character from The Simpsons, at this place. She says this is less me than the South Park version:


Try your own. Have fun.

Capture
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
I'm not feeling well. Mild fever, congestion, blah.

Thank you. Your concern is touching.

On with the entry.

I was looking through the Brady Games' guide to World of Warcraft (comics done by Penny Arcade), and in the credits* I noticed that they have a "screen capture editor." An editor for screen captures. Wow. What is easier than that? It's essentially being the guy that looks at the screen captures and says "Yep. That's a screen cap." What's he checking for? Is he making sure it's for the proper game? Is he looking for images that are less than "family friendly?" Just what is he doing? Regardless, when the rubber hits the road, he gets paid to look at pictures. I want that job, assuming it pays well.

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*Yes, I read the credits in books and game guides. It lets me know who I can trust to give me decent information, or who to blame when the information is less than canonical. Not to say apocryphal. Let's just say "wrong," and leave it at that.

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Fire-Spider
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
My niece sent me an interesting letter. She drew a picture of a woman in red and blue, webbing-patterned tights with webs coming from her hands. She had long red hair, a red mask, and her name was The Fire Spider. She added a web pattern under it, and stars all around the picture.

Her letter says:

"I just wanted to send you a copy of this picture I drew for a science project.
It was we had to pick a girl Marvel superhero and a boy superhero. I chose Spider-man & Firestar.
Then we wrote down characteristics for each of them and flipped a coin to see if Firespider would have a characteristic of Spider-Man or Firestar. Then we came up with the name and drew a picture of their offspring.
Hope you like it."

What's not to like? My niece is learning science and superheroes, all at the same time! And what's more, she spells better than most of the people I run into every single day! She didn't end a single sentence with a preposition! She wrote in an active tense, and avoided forms of "to be!"

It helps that her mom (my sister*) is a teacher. But my niece deserves the lion's share of the credit. I always knew that she's a smart girl; it runs in the family.** Maybe, one day, she will take up a career in teaching. Or maybe in writing.

Maybe she'll write about superheroes.

On a side note, I wonder if The Fire Spider can make flaming webs? Or perhaps she just hits something with a web and then burns the web. Can she even spin webs? She has webs in the picture, so I think "yes." Does she have spider-sense? Can she fly? Does she have the proportionate strength of a spider? Who does her hair?

What if it had been Firestar and Iceman?

Yeah, I need coffee.

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*That's how she got to be my niece. Duh.
**No! Really!

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Teeth
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
Went to the dentist today. Sucked.

See, I woke up with a bad headache, went to my appointment, had just enough time to read a page or two in a book of Dilbert cartoons, and they called me in. I brought the book. You know how you get left alone for a while frequently while you're sitting in that chair.

They looked at my teeth. They took X-rays so they could look inside them too. They decided I needed a root canal, it was going to cost 2,300 dollars, and I'd have to wait 2 weeks minimum to get it done, it has to be on a Wednesday because that's when their specialist is in, I work Wednesday nights, and in the meantime I'd have to live with the sharp edges and so forth that are left now that the original filling is gone.

When I got home, I had to clean the cat box.

How was your day?

Epicondylitis
Topic: Odds 'N Ends
That means "Tennis Elbow." I don't play tennis, but it's what's wrong with my arm. It took 30 seconds of diagnosis for Dr. Bob to determine that.

He prescribed anti-inflammatories and an ace bandage. I've got something similar, that has a strap about an inch and a half from the elbow that's supposed to give just the right kind of support for tennis elbow. It's attached to a blue neoprene sleeve that coccoons my arm from about halfway up the forearm to about halfway up the bicep. It works pretty well.

Makes me wish I'd been able to see him sooner... my arm's already getting a lot better.