Spike
Topic: Alchohol
If you're 21 or older, add a shot of Cointreau to a glass of iced tea. You'll be glad you did.

Beer
Topic: Alchohol
I don't drink beer. I just don't like it.

I know, some of you are out there thinking "But you don't drink it for the taste... you drink it for the buzz!" Well if that's true, then why are you drinking cheap American beer with less alcohol content than cough syrup, and beer that is described by other countries' beer drinkers as, frankly, piss, or even like making love in a canoe?* Why do all the commercials say that their beer tastes great?

Because some people actually drink things because they're both thirsty and like the flavor. I'm one of those. So I don't drink beer, because I don't like the taste.

But Firefrog, my daughter, bought me a six pack a while back of something different, because it's Hallowe'eny.** It's really not exactly a beer, though. It's an ale. Pumpkin ale, to be more specific, and yes, you can taste the pumpkin. Yeah, you're thinking "Aw, man! That's gotta taste like... like... Ew!" But it's actually not bad. There's no accounting for taste, and I like this. Not enough to drink it a lot, mind you. But it goes well with jalapeno pizza at 3 in the morning.

No, really.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

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*Because that's "fucking close to water."
**Yes, it's a word, and if you don't agree, then whum you.

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Word
Topic: Alchohol
I dropped my Mike's cap.

This is a bigger deal than it seems. I can't drink the Mike's until I check the cap first. It's borderline OCD* behavior, but it's kind of like how some people wait for the next ring to pick up the phone.**

See, Mike's Hard Lime started putting words on the inside of bottle caps a while back, when the lime flavor was first introduced. I think this was to make people in bars want to play word games with the caps (once they'd drunk a few and were easily entertained). Of course, then, they'd need more words, so they'd need more caps, so they'd buy more bottles of Mike's Lime. In short, it was a marketing ploy.

There's been words that many drunk people would be unable to pronounce, much less employ in a sentence made from haphazardly aligned bottle caps on a bar counter. Try getting a ripped person to say "catapult" some time; I've seen that word on a cap. I've also seen the letter S (theoretically for forming plurals or possessive nouns, or making a verb present-tense), and the letter I (in case a drunk word game player wants to identify themself).

Sadly, though, the last six-pack of Mike's Lime we got didn't have any words. Apparently, they sold enough of the beverage, which is unlikely. That or someone realized drunk people don't play word games with bottle caps they can barely read in dimly lit bars, which is more likely.

But I had one left from the previous batch, which had a word printed on the cap. Knowing it may well be the last one with a word on it, I wanted to read it before drinking, and I dropped the damned thing. It landed somewhere under my desk. I used my feet to look for it, hoping my toes would recognize the edge of the bottle cap, or feel the condensation on the top of it. And, happily, my seeking pedal extremeties felt a cold, wet, metal disc. Rescuing the errant cap from under the desk, brushing off the dust attracted by the moisture, I read the word that made me chuckle a bit, holding the damp thing to my eyes.

"Dry."

*Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. Like the need to check every foot-note in a text, immediately, before reading the next bit.
**That's a sniglet, by the way. It's "teleprocrastination."