Feb-Roo-Air-Ee
Topic: Holidays
According to this site, there's a lot of observances that last the whole month; forget about daily holidays.

For instance:

African American History Month (Black History Month) Take special note. These poor oppressed people only get one month to have a history, and this is it. (Is there a white history month, I wonder? Or would that just be 'History Month?')

AMD/Low Vision Awareness Month
Sponsored by Prevent Blindness America: www.preventblindness.org

American Hearth Month
Sponsored by The American Heart Association: www.americanheart.org Because the American Heart Association wants you to have a fireplace. (note: this is an actual typo on the observances page linked above. Check yourself.

American History Month
Sponsored by National Society of Daughters of the American Revolution. They don't have a web site, because back in the days of the American revolution, they didn't have computers more complicated than an abacus, and their networks weren't all that useful. They were windows based; essentially, they'd open a window and holler out it to each other. I guess there is a white history month after all... it's the same month as black history month. So for equality, it should be hispanic history month, asian history month, etc. Why not just call it 'history month,' and have done with it? Oh... wait... if we did that, there wouldn't be any racism involved. But then, isn't that supposed to be the point?

Bake For Family Fun Month
February 2002 was the first annual Bake for Family Fun Month. The Home Baking Association has dedicated this occasion to the great taste, good nutrition, economy and family fun of home baking. Source: www.aeb.org/kidsandfamily/bake_for_family_fun_month.html I'm in heavy, serious support of this. Mmmmmmm... cookies...

Bird Feeding Month (US National)
Sponsored by the National Bird Feeding Society www.birdfeeding.org It's tuppence a bag.

Candy Month This is not to be confused with baking month, mentioned above.

Canned Foods Month
Sponsored by the Canned Food Info Council of America In celebration of the early days of food preservation, which used lead solder to seal the cans, and killed everyone on The Franklin Expedition. Celebrate!

Cat Health Month (US National)
Sponsored by the American Veterinary Medical Association Your cat wants steak.

Cherry Month
Sponsored by the Cherry Marketing Institute of America MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm... I'm not even gonna think about touching this one. Too easy.

Children's Dental Health Month (National)
Sponsored by the American Dental Association This is for the teeth that don't go to the tooth fairy.

Chocolate Month Notice it's in tandem with Children's Dental Health Month. Coincidence? I think not.

Condom Month (National US) - Source: www.bacchusgamma.org/event.asp So... who's so big that they need an entire month just for their condoms? Personally, I only need a week and a half.

Creative Romance Month Because we need a month for this. I know that my love makes me wax poetic; she makes me want to compare her to a summer's day, with eyes like limpid pools... raven hair that... uhm... with... I got nothin'.

Embroidery Month (International)
Sponsored by Stitches Magazine Sponsored by an embroidery magazine? Get out. No way. Can't be!

Friendship Month If you don't have any friends, this is not your month.

Grapefruit Month (National) Why do grapefruit get a whole month, and Jesus only got Christmas and Easter?

Library Lovers Month
"Library Lovers' Month is a month-long celebration of school, public, and private libraries of all types. This is a time for everyone, especially library support groups, to recognize the value of libraries and to work to assure that the Nation's libraries will continue to serve." See Web site: www.librarysupport.net/librarylovers/ This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't written in such a way that it sounds kind of like the library woke up beside you in bed, and you should send a card and flowers.

Pet Oral Health Care Month (US National)
Sponsored by Pet Dental Your dog wants Binaca.

Potato Lovers Month
Sponsored by the National Potato Board of America Yep. February is the month for spud-luv. French fries, baked, chipped, mashed, scalloped, however you like them. They're cheap. They're friendly. They taste good. A spud a day keeps the doctor away. Oh, wait... that's a Sputnik a day.

Responsible Pet Owner Month
Sponsored by the ASPCA www.aspca.org Bob says "have your pet spayed or neutered." And he should know. He's a game show host and a celebrity.

Sinus Pain Awareness Month
Sponsored by the American Academy of Otolaryngology - Head and Neck Surgery: www.entnet.org Just in case you have a head or neck injury, or sinus pain, and you aren't aware of it.

Snack Food Month (US National)
Sponsored by the Snack Food Association. The Snack Food Association and the National Potato Promotion Board (NPPB) initiated National Snack Food Month in February 1989. The promotion kicks off on Super Bowl Sunday and publicity is generated throughout the month of February. Does anyone really think this is necessary? Seriously. I've only been awake for 90 minutes, and I've already had chocolate covered gummi bears and a Coke.

Umbrella Month
As seen on www.BlueMountain.com (Greeting Cards) "It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up getting wet."

Weddings Month (US National)
Sponsored by the Association of Bridal Consultants of America
(See our General Webs for Weddings) I'd have thought this one would be in June, but I guess you need to start planning in February, so you can spend as much money as possible, and keep bridal consultants in business.

Wise Health Consumer Month
Sponsored by the American Institute for Preventive Medicine http://www.healthylife.com Well, judging by how all the other observances are fueled by people that would make the most money from them, this one has to be sponsored by HMO's.

I was going to post holidays too, but who has time for that? I've got to eat chocolate, eat snack food, eat potatoes, brush my teeth, and stay healthy while I deal with my bridal consultant in the rain under my umbrella, while being aware of sinus pain and feeding birds... all month long! Who's got time for holidays?

Thank the gods there's only 28 days in February... well, 29 this year. That'll be the one that kills me, I just know it.