I Want To Be A Bond Villain
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: The Movies
James Bond takes on the coolest villains. They have cool names, like Goldfinger. They have cool vehicles. They have more money than The Vatican. They have sexy women wandering around naked all day all around them. Even their henchmen get cool names, like Jaws, and Odd-Job.

Down side: they all die, 'cause he's James Freakin' Bond. (Bet you didn't know that's his middle name, eh?)

That's why if I were a Bond villain, I'd immediately contact Her Majesty's Secret Service and inform them I was no longer up to anything, and had changed my mind, everyone have a nice day, but please don't come around because people that Bond gets near have a nasty habit of dropping dead, even when they haven't done anything, and besides, the pool's still full of sharks with lasers on their heads.

That way, I'd get to keep the cash, henchmen, toys, sharks, lasers, etc. without getting killed by Bond.

You know... Bond... James Bond.

007